JOHN'S WORLD OF AUTISM   Web www.johnsworld.cashhosters.com Parenting the Strong-Willed Child

Autism On The Move: A Family Trip To The See The Grandparents By John Crawford It had been 3 years since the last time we dared to venture outside the local area as a family. Traveling with an austistic person can be difficult. At least I know that traveling with John has been difficult. Making even short trips to and from school, John went through a period where he was breaking out the windows on the bus, wetting his pants, or both every day. Putting him in our vehicles at all for anything more than a short trip down the street was impossible at times. Luckily, since our last long trip (to Florida) back in December 2002, things have improved a bit. One thing we discovered was the medication he was taking was causing his outbursts, Dextroamphetamine (or Dexedrine) was the cause. When we switched from the military doctor to a civilian doctor, the civilian doctor felt that Dexedrine wasn't the right thing for John. He changed it to Prozac, and his outbursts have steadily declined since. Well, the big test came on December 18th as we headed back to Florida to visit with the kids grandparents (my inlaws). With our van fully loaded, the five of us and a Siberian Husky, we headed out just before 5 PM on Sunday afternoon. Day 1 (Sunday) First pit stop was at mile marker 2, we hadn't even left our little zip code. We decided to eat now, and get on down the road, so we stopped at this new Wendy's here in our little ville. Big mistake. Those losers did their best to screw us, they couldn't get anything right. We were the only customers there, both the drive-thru and inside. I'll skip the details of what went wrong, but I won't be going there ever again. From there we actually did very well on time. We went down US 301 from Maryland, over the Nice Bridge into Virginia, through Fort AP Hill, and finally getting on I-95 just before Richmond. We made a pitstop at the Welcome Centers in North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia, and stopped for gas somewhere in SC. The bad part about leaving late in the day is having been awake since early that morning. All day Sunday we spent running around getting last minute things, and such. About 2 AM Monday morning we stopped at a rest area in SC, rolled down the shades and slept for a few hours. We put John in the front drivers seat so it could be reclined. He simply wouldn't sleep in the back sitting up. Parenting the Strong-Willed Child As parents and longtime child-behavior experts, Dr. Rex Forehand and Dr. Nicholas Long have devised a program to help parents of strong-willed children find positive and manageable solutions to their children's difficult behavior. Their book, Parenting the Strong-Willed Child, is the first self-guided program for managing disruptive young children that is based on a clinical treatment program. Drs. Forehand and Long place more than 30 years of collective research into this informative, yet easy-to-read manual, giving you, as parents, a step-by-step guide toward improving your child's behavior as well as your entire family's relationship. SC, 256 pages. Day 2 (Monday) My wife took over in the morning. Traffic around Jacksonville and Orlando was not too bad, but I'm used to DC traffic so it may have been bad. We stopped to eat at Checkers in Haines City, Florida. Haines City is a bustling little locale under heavy construction, and sprawl everywhere you look. It looked allot like Georgetown during a watermain break. Anyhow, at Checkers, they had a sign up at the windows that said something like "due to the nationwide shortage of tomatoes, sandwiches are served without them unless requested." Did anyone know there was a nationwide shortage of tomatoes? I didn't, and apparently no one else that serves tomatoes in that region did either, I asked. We drove straight through to our destination south of Orlando arriving about 5PM. From the beginning of the trip I kept track of things I wanted to add to this article. After all this is about John and his autistic condition. John was incident free the entire trip there. The other variable on this trip is the dog, a 3 year old Siberian Husky name Piper that is used to be restrained as we do not have the open space or confined outdoor area for her to run free. But the inlaws property is on 10 acres, and surrounded by other big houses/ranches with open land away from roads. So, like the last time we were there, we immediately let Piper run free. She was so excited, Huskies are high energy and need space to run. When we arrived there, no one was yet home from work, so we waited outside. We know they have little dogs, and they were going crazy inside the house. After my mother-in-law comes home, she lets one of the dogs out to run. They're Daschund's, but one is kept in a cage because he just had surgery on his back. Piper doesn't get to see too many dogs at home, we keep her on a 25 foot runner outside during the day, so unless someone else's dogs comes into our yard, she doesn't interact with any other dogs. That little Daschund didn't make it down the step off the porch before Piper was on the attack. Luckily, she still had her harness on and that allowed us to pull her off that little dog. She had that Daschund in her mouth, and was seconds from killing it. So... we hooked the runner to a tree with some shade, and that's where Piper spent most of her days. Bedtime. John is settled, the other kids are settled, I'm ready to sleep. But Piper is howling. We'd put her in an extra large kennel we brough with us, and put it outside on the porch. My mother-in-law insisted we do something, so we moved the kennel inside to the laundry room. No joy there, so we let her out so she could be loose in the room, no joy. Of course, the other two dogs were just on the other side of the door so that may have had something to do with it. We finally wound up taken Piper upstairs with us and letting her sleep in the bed. That seems drastic, but the house has very nice hardwood floors and to let Piper loose on those floors would have been disasterious. Besides, John is sleeping on a mattress on the bedroom floor, so letting her roam would have caused other problems. John remained asleep through the night, unaware the dog was there. Day 3 (Tuesday) Our first full day without travel. John did fine, had no outbursts. We stayed at the house for the most part just enjoying the slower pace and sunshine. At dark, we moved Piper from the line to the kennel, because there's no telling what might come lurking about, aligator, coyote, snake, whatever. Again, we tried to leave Piper outside, but she howled again, so we took her upstairs with us again. Day 4 (Wednesday) Made our first trip to the mall. It's not the craziness of shopping at any mall around where we live, and that's on a regular day.  Then we went to WalMart, a Super WalMart. They don't have the Super WalMart's here in Maryland, in fact, about 7 years ago there were plans to put one in the shopping center that had the nasty Wendy's. However, the good people of my ville pushed and shoved, and huffed and puffed, and finally told WalMart to take a hike - we have enough traffic deal with. A few years later they built a regular WalMart about 10 miles from here. Anyhow, WalMart was a bit more hectic than the mall. But hey, when you get that many poor people in one place looking for the perfect gift, things do get hectic! Again Piper howled..... and we took her upstairs. John was great the whole day. Day 5 (Thursday) I'm not sure what we did that made it possible, but we put Piper in the kennel at dark like we had been. About 10PM we let her loose to run as we had in previous nights. A few minutes later she came right back to the porch and went into her kennel and laid down, and she stayed there until about 6:45AM the next morning without a peep. And I was so glad, the full size bed we were sleeping in was not big enough for to overweight adults, and a 70lb dog. John, as before, was great. Day 6 (Friday) John, my wife and I trek to the mall. My younger son was with his uncle; my daughter was with her grandmother getting blonde stripes in her hair. I took the opportunity to steer my wife into a jewelry store and told the lady to size her. It'll be 21 years in late Janauary we've been married, but the rings we started with were too small almost from the beginning. My wife was very surprised, of course. The salesman  asked why we never got new rings. I told him it's quite simple, when you are raising a handicapped child, these things tend to become very unimportant, and very low on the priority list when money is tight. Now, this is probably the most trying thing for John when he is out in public. He does not like to just sit or stand and wait. But he was a trooper, I was praying that he does not go into one of his rants with all that glass and expensive merchandise around. He stood and watched, he did get a little vocal (he makes noises when he's upset or bored), but I set him in the chair and talked to him. Later that day after we left the mall, we tried to go to WalMart. It was a mad house, and no place to park, so we went home. Day 7 (Saturday)(Christams Eve) We had to go back to the mall to pickup my wife's ring after being resized. We got up about 7AM and headed out, but we left John back at the house as he was still sleeping. First to Walmart before the major crowd hits. It's open 24 hours, and we wanted to get up at like 4AM and get in there, but we stayed up late wrapping presents. After WalMart, we headed to the Mall to pickup the ring. We drove right up to the door and parked, no big traffic backups there. Once back home, we let everyone in on why we were gone. John's had stayed at the house with his granny and his sister, and he was great the whole time. My daughter her granny worked on sewing most of the day. Later that evening after the kids went to bed, we finished wrapping and putting everything around the tree. Meanwhile, we were watching and listening to the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on television.  I laughed so hard, and that's not the first time I'd watched it.  Being an ol' country boy at heart, I believe there a little redneck in everyone! Day 8 (Sunday)(Christmas Day) I sat with John as he opened presents. They must work on this at school, because he is very careful about unwrapping things. You might think he'd be a bull in a china shop, but he's not. He tears the ends carefully, and unwraps it like a candy bars he's maybe gonna rewrap. I think the excitement got to him, with 11 people there in the living room all doing their thing. He hit me a few times and twice headbutted me on my head, and it certainly did hurt, me that is. But it was isolated, and when we took family pictures he stood and smiled. Having all the people around the table for Christmas dinner was too much for him too. He got up and went to his spot until the crowd disbursed, and then he ate. Of all the gifts he received, the one he plays with most is the box of shoe strings from his granny. What can I say, he's autistic. Day 9 (Monday) John went with his mother and granny to the cemetary to pay respects to relatives that are no longer with us. My younger son, his grandfather, and I went out looking for computer parts. After almost getting t-boned by an old lady that pulled through a red light (no kidding!), we went to OfficeMax. Out of this sprawled up town, they got all kinds of shopping centers, strip malls, a Super WalMart, and a Mall. Other than a couple of Radio Shacks, OfficeMax and a small privately owned computer store are it for getting retail computer products. So we're in OfficeMax, and I'm looking for a simple ATX power supply for one the inlaws PC's. They don't carry those kind of parts. (Note: Ok I should probably put this part on my other site, Accokeek Computers, which is about computers, the internet, and internet and computer security. But I think it fits better here). OfficeMax does, however, have the memory sticks they need. Granted, I buy just about all my computer stuff online, and search for the best price. But, I was still shocked at how expensive computer parts are in the store as compared to buying online. For example, Officemax had Kingston PC3200 512MB memory for $94.99 (plus tax). There's no denying that Kingston is the leader in computer memory, and it came with a lifetime warranty. It was still too rich for my blood, and I wasn't the one paying for it. I told my father-in-law not to waste his money on it, that I'd get him something much better online. (As a sidenote, that same product is currently available from tigerdirect.com for $41.99). So we left OfficeMax, and then stopped by the other computer store, but being the official government holiday, it was closed. John was very good at the cemetary, and was relaxing in his chair back at the house when we returned. We left again to run my van through the car wash and vacuum it out. The rest of the day we spent gathering up things, and getting packed. I went to bed early to prepare for the 980 mile trip home. Day 10 (Tuesday) Up at 3AM, and getting everything packed. We said our goodbye's and left about 5:15AM. One thing I didn't do the day before was fill-up gas, so we stopped at the cheapest place I could find, $2.19 somewhere south of Haines City, FL. About 6:30AM we stopped at the Super WalMart in Haines City to get some snack food. I also had to get a valve stem for a large ball that John got as a present so we could deflate it. So John and I are in the 24 hour WalMart, not many people there that early in the morning. I'm looking very hard for this valve stem, and John is getting upset, and finally throws a fit. He takes off running through the store and yelling at the top of his lungs. I managed to coral him and then my cell phone rings. He hits me so hard it knocks the phone out of my hands. This time we were at the front of the store, he ran straight toward the entrance, yelling. People are scattering like rats, like a bomb went off. Luckily, my wife came through the front door and grabbed him. This was not looking like a good day to be confined to vehicle with John. But he soon calmed down after he got a snack, and walked a little bit, then we were on our way again. We took a bypass around Orlando this time to avoid the rush hour traffic of I-4, a toll road - Route 417, cost about $4.00 from end to end, but it was worth it. I-95 was a different story, though. We sat through 3 backups because of accidents in the construction zones, all before we reached Jacksonville. One oversized loaded truck carrying house frames went off the road and overturned; that didn't look pretty. There was one small delay just as we got on 417, a small car went off the road and into the swamp, so traffic was only backed up by the gawkers. John remained calm and quiet the entire time. At about noon, and 7 pitstops later, we finally made it to the Georgia state line. A truckstop just inside Georgia had gas for $2.00 a gallon, so we filled up. Just up the road there was another for $1.99 a gallon, but none cheaper the rest of the way home. My younger son sat in the passengers seat. I enjoyed the time with him, and talking about the old songs, and surfing for classic rock stations. For 17 years old, he is very adepth on classic rock. We kept going until Lumberton, NC just after dark, my eyes were tired and it was time to eat something. John was still being a trooper. We stopped for gas, filled up and switched drivers. I moved to the backseat with the dog. After one stop at Hardees and another Super WalMart, we were back on the road. We went to WalMart to find a 12 volt adaptor for our portable DVD player. The one that came with it did not work.  We found a 110volt adapter, that uses the AC plug and runs through an accessory outlet (cigarette lighters are politically incorrect). Day 11 (Wednesday) About 1AM, we stopped at a truck stop south of Richmond, everyone was tired. We pulled down the shades and went to sleep for awhile. About 3AM, I got some coffee and got back on the road. When we got off I-95 onto US 301 North, there was dense patchy fog, and herds of deer almost at every turn. The drive through Fort AP Hill was a bit slower than I liked, but we had to be safe. We finally got home at about 5:30AM. John undressed and got into his bed. We had made it back with only minor incidents, much better than 3 years ago. (more side notes. I finally ordered the power supply and memory online. Fron Chiefvalue.com, I ordered one stick of PC3200 512MB - $38.99, no tax, free shipping. I also ordered one stick of PC133 128MB - $17.99, no tax, free shipping. Both come with a lifetime warranty. I ordered a 400 watt power supply from pcimicro.com for $13.00, no tax, free shipping.) About the Author John Crawford is the father of 19 year old John (IV) who is autistic.

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