I'm
not sure if dealing with my son's condition has gotten easier or harder
over the years. Some things have definitely gotten better, others worse.
Since
I haven't written about John for awhile, I thought it might be a good
time to talk about the teen years. When I started this site, I had a
ton of ideas to write about. As time went by, I gradually
realized that most of what I might want to say is just not for public
dissemination, too personal.
He'll
be 20 years old in a few months, and will have one year of school left
after this one. We have not decided what he will do after he
cannot attend public school anymore. One thing is certain, he
will be with us until we cannot care for him anymore. I have
no
plans to ever put him in a home or place him in an institution.
Has it had it's affects on my marriage over the years? You
betcha! But my wife and I know it's a sacrifice that has to
be
made.
The
logistics of raising a child with Autism never seem to go away though.
We still make frequent trips to his schools and have regular
communication with his teachers. I never know when I might
get a
call to leave work and get him from school or my wife to get him out of
school for
any number of reasons.
If
you've read any of my other articles on John, then you know that he can
be slightly violent when aggrevated. Over the years we've learned how
to control him when he erupts. We've also learned what sets him off and
what situations to avoid, but it's not fool-proof. He still has his
moments. Sometimes, like when he's at school, I think he just doesn't
want to be there. I mean, how many 20 year olds would want to still be
in high school, and have to ride a bus to and from school? Not
many.
We've
started to repair some of the inside damage to our house, John's room
first. I reinforced the floors with a double layer of 7/16"
flooring on top of the 1/2" existing sub floor. We haven't decided
whether to use tile or linoleum, but his area is much stronger now.
John
still does things to amaze us. For a kid that does not read,
write, or talk, and is greatly lacking in his social skills, he does
pretty good. For instance, I bought a new shower curtain for the kids
bathroom some months ago. Jokingly I handed it to John and told him to
go put it up. So he takes it and wonders into the kids bathroom. He
comes back about 10 minutes later and tries to pull me down the hall.
To my amazement he hung the new shower curtain all by
himself.
Of course, he missed the ends, but it was a valiant effort.
My wife and I think he simply holding out on us. For
instance,
John is generally afraid to pick up a knife. Maybe that's
because
we have done everything we could to keep them away from him.
Now,
John likes to eat. His teachers would say that's an
understatement, they're probably right. One night I made a
whole
chicken, and when it was done I put it on the table. I was in the
kitchen getting everything else ready. John was in his seat ready to
eat. The rest of the family was in the back of the house. I
guess
John could not wait any longer because he picked up a large carving
knife and cut him some chicken off and started to chow down. This may
seem like nothing to the masses, but my son has never done that
before.
Other
things he does are purely aggrevating. He has a fetish with
changing his clothes, especially his underwear. And if he can't find
his he will wear someone else's, clean or dirty. So the
laundry
is always in a state of flux in my house, but that's normal for a house
with teenagers.
John
Crawford is the father of 19 year old John (IV) who is autistic.
